I Care, But I Don’t Care

It has been foreverrrrr, and ever since my last post!  I finally feel like writing again! 🙂 The feeling probably hit me about a week ago, but I’ve been a little busy, and a little more tired now that I’m balancing a second job. I have a lot of things that I want to write about, but today this idea of caring/not really caring came to mind. I know that might sound a little contradictory, but I will try my best to explain myself.

Let me start by saying I care A LOT! I feel like half the time I find myself caring about things that are not even directly related to me. I suppose the proper word for this is sympathy. I sympathize easily for the misfortunes of others. literally, at times it feels like my heart just breaks. While at the same time, there are a million billion things I could care less about.  As I have thought about this idea throughout the day, I also realize that there are probably certain things I should care more about, and maybe some things I need to let go.

I have worked in customer service foreverrrrr, and most days I like it! But there are some days it takes everything in me not to roll my eyes and have an attitude when someone gets rude. I am pretty sure I am learning patience every day. I do not understand how some people can blow up if they don’t get what they ordered, or if a store doesn’t have what they want, or if there is a long line. Or whatever mistake happens…because that never happens. ha. Some people get straight up nasty. And every time I find myself thinking, if this is how they respond to something so minuscule…how do they get through life when an actual problem occurs??  That would be a time not to care, mistakes happen. Let it go. Forgive. move on.

This one may sound silly, but road rage….that’s another thing I don’t understand. People are crazy, some people probably shouldn’t be driving on the roads, and because of this I don’t have high expectations from the people on the road.  As long as I don’t cause an accident, and I get from point A to point B alive and well. I just don’t care about anything else. If I am safe, I am happy!

I could probably come up with a lengthy list of random things I think people care wayyy to much about. To those people I would say invest your heart in the things that matter. Care about things you can actually change, or things you want to see changed.

To be honest, my list of things I really don’t care about is prettttty long. And my list of things I care about is somewhat selective, slowly growing, and is not very long…but the few things on that list I care for so deeply. They remind me of what’s important and what’s not.

It’s About What I have, Not What I Don’t Have

Before I lived on my own, I used to think that one day I would have the “perfect” home.  It would look exactly like I wanted it to look like, including a color scheme that flowed throughout the house . It would always be clean and organized. I would have a fridge full of all natural and organic food. It would be spacious. I would have a yard that had a garden. In my mind, if I had all that, it would be perfect.  Now, here I am, 8 months into living on my own (with my Maggie baby!) and my home is not even close to what I thought perfect was. My apartment is so small! I am an unorganized mess most days.  I have very little food in my fridge, none of which is organic. I do not have a yard, I have a balcony. But lately, as I look at what I do have, I realize it’s enough. It’s more than enough actually, and that is perfect. The piles of clothes I plan to donate, remind me that I have more than I need. The few things I have hanging on my wall mean so much to me. I have a bookshelf filled with books that bring more entertainment than my TV. And I share my space with the cutest puppy in the world. And even though a backyard would be nice, I am fortunate enough to live in an apartment complex that has a dog park, which means every now and then, Maggie gets to play with friends.

The more I thought about what I have, and not what I don’t have. The feeling of always wanting more fades, and I appreciate what I do have. Not only have I been applying this to how I view my home, but life too! I don’t think it is necessarily bad to want more or change what you do have.  But I think when we forget to be thankful for what we have, then it becomes a problem, and can sometimes lead to greed.

As a Christian, I believe that God is always watching over me. He knows my needs, and is also my provider. He has already done SO much for me, that I am confident He will continue to bless me with whatever he sees fit.

Ephesians 5:20New International Version (NIV)

20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

May

I can’t believe May is already over. For some reason this month just felt shorter than usual, and I don’t often say that. There have been about a million things I have wanted to share on the blog, so I can’t say it was lack of inspiration. Yet, for some reason I have been doing what I do best, and keeping my thoughts to myself while trying to make sense of them all (I know, not the best for a blog). I had planned on writing about the funereal me and Eric attended a few weeks ago, as well as writing a review of the podcast “S-Town” that we listened to on our way there. I had planned on writing about the wedding we attended and, sharing my key misfortune that happened while I was away. I planned on writing about my thoughts after my first meeting with my pastor for spiritual direction. I planned on writing about my steps towards discipline, in regards to faith. I planned on writing about the unusual coffee date I had with my old roommate. I planned on writing about some new restaurants. I planned on writing about some new-to-me Christian theologians I have discovered. I planned on writing about the accident involving the deer. I had planned to share a lot,  I really did, and eventually I may, but for now I find myself still reflecting on all the events that happened this past month.

Kiss the Bricks and Run

Last Saturday I did something I hateeeee doing, only to do something that I loveeee. Running is definitely a love/hate relationship.  My alarm was set to go off at 4:30 AM but my body decided that I should start my day even earlier by waking up at 4:15… yes, I was mad at not getting those extra 15 minutes.  I was waking up early to drive downtown to Indianapolis, where I would be running the Indy Mini marathon.  By the time I left my apartment it was almost 5:00 it took me a little over an hour to get there and find parking.  Thankfully, I gave myself enough time that finding parking was easy! I was really worried about this because I was told there would be close to 40,000 people running! Crazy! I also found out later that this half marathon is the largest 1/2 in all of the United States! Even crazier!

                           

This was my first time running the Indy Mini, but my third half marathon. Prior to this one, I have raced in the Cleveland half twice. Before the race began, I met up with someone from my running group. This person happens to be a very seasoned runner who is very very fast.  He asked me what my goal time was, and typical lazy-runner me, responds by saying as long as I don’t walk I will be happy. And if I could get under three hours to beat my previous times I would be pleased. He told me that I could easily do that. I laughed and reminded him that I am slow runner. He offered to help me keep pace, and  we ran the race side by side. I should also mention that before the race started, he had ran the 5k that was a half hour before, to help another runner in the group keep pace. The lady he had helped ended up running her fastest 5k!

My favorite part of the race was when I was running on the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.  Not only because it was flat (that was a hugeee plus) but because there was a fun tradition that I learned there. Runners stopped to “Kiss the Bricks” there was a small section of the original brick track.  I had never heard of this tradition before, but all of a sudden the term “Brickyard” made sense! It’s hard to believe that the track was once made up of bricks. Although I did not lay down on the ground and kiss the bricks like a lot of runners stopped to do…I did bend over to take a quick pic with the bricks. This part of the race, was around mile 7.

It was also around mile 7 that I could start to feel my body getting slower.  Up until that point, my miles were around the 10 minute pace.  I started to slow down a bit after mile 7, but I was still very happy with my times! When I was at mile 10 and I realized I was under 2 hours I was SOOOO happy, it gave me the boost of energy I needed! I ended up crossing the finish line with a time of 2 hours and 34 minutes! I was seriously crying happy tears! The medics at the finish thought there was something wrong with me, I assured them I was fine.  This was my fastest half marathon! I was so surprised that I did that, and I am super thankful I had someone to pace me!

 

         

Sunday Thoughts

It is late and I feel like I am breaking the unspoken blogger rule about posting on a weekend.  Most (if not all?) of the blogs I follow only post during the week. What can I say, I like to break the rules. haha.

Today was busy, but mostly in a good way! One of my favorite parts of the day, even though it involved waking up earlier than I would like, was the adult Sunday School at my church before service. Today was the start of a new study called “World Religions”. I actually thought it started last Sunday and was feeling pretty bad about not making it because I overslept. Then mid-week, I noticed my church’s fb post reminding people about the upcoming study! Thank you facebook!! haha. As you can imagine, I was determined to make it today!  How many churches take the time to learn about other peoples’ faith? I seriously love that! Sometimes, I think if Christians listened more and talked (evangelize) less they might be able to draw more people to Christ. No one likes a pushy Christian. If you’re not willing to learn about their faith, why should they learn about yours? At least that’s what I think. Today was really only an intro, there was no specific religion discussed, but I am definitely looking forward to the following weeks.  I only wish I didn’t have to miss next week! I also think this study came at such a perfect time, because I am currently reading Undivided. Although, I am not yet finished (I plan to write a review later!) this book features a conversation between a Christian mother and her Muslim daughter. I am really enjoying learning about Islam! Also, I am surprised at the many similarities there are between Islam and Christianity. In general, I think people share more in common with their neighbor than they think they do, they just need to listen.

 

 

And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
 Mark 12:31

Friday Favorites

Who knew that posting twice in one week would be a challenge?! But I plan to still do that this week, and write something either on Saturday or Sunday.

This week I have worked every. single. day. ew. I will also be working on Saturday and Sunday. ew. but it’s not that bad, and this girl needs some money!

I thought I would share some of my favorite things from this week!

  1. I had my first ever burger from Five Guys this week, thanks to my lovely boyfriend! SO GOOD!
  2. Playing pool!
  3. Running twice with a new group of people! They seriously pushed me in the best way possible to run faster and longer!
  4. Reading two new books! Undivided & The Shack
  5. The sweetest fb shout out from the coffee shop I last reviewed!
  6. Bought myself a cute little ring.
  7. Reading the Bible with Eric! We just started a plan to read the Bible in a year!!!

8. This picture…I love snapchat! I am especially fond of the puppy dog ears and I am always asking Eric to take a picture with that filter. He hates it. I love it. And when he took this picture I wasn’t ready at all, so it looks like i’m the one who hates it. haha

Think Happy. Be Happy.