It’s About What I have, Not What I Don’t Have

Before I lived on my own, I used to think that one day I would have the “perfect” home.  It would look exactly like I wanted it to look like, including a color scheme that flowed throughout the house . It would always be clean and organized. I would have a fridge full of all natural and organic food. It would be spacious. I would have a yard that had a garden. In my mind, if I had all that, it would be perfect.  Now, here I am, 8 months into living on my own (with my Maggie baby!) and my home is not even close to what I thought perfect was. My apartment is so small! I am an unorganized mess most days.  I have very little food in my fridge, none of which is organic. I do not have a yard, I have a balcony. But lately, as I look at what I do have, I realize it’s enough. It’s more than enough actually, and that is perfect. The piles of clothes I plan to donate, remind me that I have more than I need. The few things I have hanging on my wall mean so much to me. I have a bookshelf filled with books that bring more entertainment than my TV. And I share my space with the cutest puppy in the world. And even though a backyard would be nice, I am fortunate enough to live in an apartment complex that has a dog park, which means every now and then, Maggie gets to play with friends.

The more I thought about what I have, and not what I don’t have. The feeling of always wanting more fades, and I appreciate what I do have. Not only have I been applying this to how I view my home, but life too! I don’t think it is necessarily bad to want more or change what you do have.  But I think when we forget to be thankful for what we have, then it becomes a problem, and can sometimes lead to greed.

As a Christian, I believe that God is always watching over me. He knows my needs, and is also my provider. He has already done SO much for me, that I am confident He will continue to bless me with whatever he sees fit.

Ephesians 5:20New International Version (NIV)

20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

May

I can’t believe May is already over. For some reason this month just felt shorter than usual, and I don’t often say that. There have been about a million things I have wanted to share on the blog, so I can’t say it was lack of inspiration. Yet, for some reason I have been doing what I do best, and keeping my thoughts to myself while trying to make sense of them all (I know, not the best for a blog). I had planned on writing about the funereal me and Eric attended a few weeks ago, as well as writing a review of the podcast “S-Town” that we listened to on our way there. I had planned on writing about the wedding we attended and, sharing my key misfortune that happened while I was away. I planned on writing about my thoughts after my first meeting with my pastor for spiritual direction. I planned on writing about my steps towards discipline, in regards to faith. I planned on writing about the unusual coffee date I had with my old roommate. I planned on writing about some new restaurants. I planned on writing about some new-to-me Christian theologians I have discovered. I planned on writing about the accident involving the deer. I had planned to share a lot,  I really did, and eventually I may, but for now I find myself still reflecting on all the events that happened this past month.